I’m not made of steel

Big Green Monkey, Everyone’s a Junkie

I have more addictions than I can count;
Some intangible, some invisible,
Some chemical, some physical,
Some explicit, some generic, some esoteric and unnatural;
All spare me one pain in exchange for one greater.
The smoke passes the lips before entering the lungs,
The same lips soaked in spirits, mumbling mundane musings.
I’ve never stuck the needle, but I can’t put down my pen.
I want her so bad, but can I handle it all?
Electrons scurry along to bring me my daily fix.
I stare blankly at the things I’ll soon forget.
Pixelated poetry and digital drama,
Eyes wide shut to the real panorama.
When I reach out, I’m buried in confusion.
When I stay inside myself, I’m naked and cold.

I’m not made of steel.

I’d like to explain what it is to be sane,
To spell out the names of these material games,
To sit and decide where to guide my mind,
Induce tamed infamy and avoid judicial fame…

…But I’m not made of steel.

I’m told to look on the bright side
But I rarely see the sun.
I’m supposed to be responsible.
I guess I haven’t learned how.
I’m jumping off a cliff to make sure I can climb back up.
So far, not so good.
I keep slipping…

I’m not made of steel.

I’ve never run away from my fears.
I take them in and let them heal at home.
But my home is not as forgiving as it used to be.
We have trouble getting along.
I wish my home would run away from me
So I could be the victim for once.
It’s a horrible thing to think, but I think it everyday.
I give myself too much credit.

I’m not made of steel.

I am clay on a wooden frame.
Mold me as you wish, on the inside I’m the same.
Show me the heat and hardening will follow.
Burn me from within and I will be hollow.

Becuase I’m not made of steel.

*CROW*

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~ by Crow on November 4, 2006.